dream of myself

I saw myself from the outside. This is rare for me in dreams.

Thrown into a tiny room with no windows in a building that was a prison, I lay in a pulpy heap on the floor. I was bruised, I was cut; my body was naked and noticeably swollen. With what strength I had left, I wept quietly.

No longer restricting me, my bonds were thrown onto the floor next to me. My captors walked away, leaving the door wide open. I was free to go.

But I stayed.

* * *

I had this dream over a week ago, and it has managed to stay with me. I've turned it over and over and I'm fairly certain of its meaning. And because I'm still in that little room, lying on the floor, looking out an open door from the floor of a small cell, I'm not free to talk about what it means.

But we are praying like crazy: for me to be set free, to be able to walk out of that prison without once looking back.