The Sisterhood

I'm lying on an old homemade quilt on a bed in a room that isn't mine. It feels cool against my arms and bare feet. I can almost feel my cells seeping into its fibers. The flannel pillow case carries the scent of its surroundings. It is soft and worn, having carried its dreamer through many nights. Light filters through the reds and greens from the stained glass on the opposite wall.

I need sleep, but I can't close my eyes. I hear the clink of a handful of silverware against silverware in the nearby kitchen, the clattering ring of dishes against each other. I hear the sizzle and pop of cooking things, the snap of dry noodles about to be dropped into a pot of boiling water.

I hear the voices of friends, and laughter. I hear them entertaining the babies.

The ceiling fan over me spins steadily over my head, the blades sending down rhythmic blasts of cool air from the white ceiling. The whirring sounds to me like a drone of bees. As it whirs and hums, I consider: I'm tired, but sleep won't come. The time we have together is already slipping through our fingers.

I prop myself up on the bed, looking across the room. I see myself reflected over the prescription bottles, the dark glass jar encasing the candle that isn't burning. My body is ravenous for rest, but my soul is hungrier for them, their company, their conversation: these sisters spread out on a map, living on geographical points that refuse to touch.

I am getting up.

Three.

23 May 2009
Photo by Jen Fox Photography

People meeting us for the first time think of us very much as "newlyweds" when we share how long we've been married.

Three years.

(Feels more like forty-three. But in a good way.)

"Oh, you're still in that honeymoon phase," we often hear.

Ha. That's kinda funny.

It may have been "only" three years, but it included James' prolonged and unintentional unemployment (close to two years), a fairly major religious shift, the birth of our first child and his death, a cross-country move, a separation of three months and several thousand miles while I was fresh into a second pregnancy (and all the throwing up that attended it), packing up our apartment, and leaving the job I had been at for over eleven years, and then there was the birth of our second child.

What honeymoon phase?

23 May 2012
A lot has happened in 3 years.

It's not a contest and I suppose it really doesn't matter whether someone else thinks of us as a pair of blissed out "newlyweds" who know little of life's travails. When I look over my shoulder at the three years between that day and this one, I'm pretty darn sure that James and Kirsten are going to make it, holding hands, loving and in love as ever.

Photo by Jen Fox Photography

Happy anniversary to my love. Knowing what I know, I would say "yes" all over again.

Elimination Diet :: Day 11

Yeah. Here we are at Day 11. Crazy!!

If this post had a subtitle, it might be "True Confessions", or something like that. Sigh.

For the most part, things have been going really well. I've been eating elimination-diet friendly food quite happily, but sadly, it's been an entirely different story for James. It seems the diet, rather than eliminating irritating foods for him, has exposed some new ones. In addition to the need to avoid anything in the onion family (onions, garlic, leeks, etc.), we've always had to take it easy on the beans and legumes with him, as well as cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, kale, to name just a few). When I started experimenting with quinoa for breakfast dishes as well as dinner dishes (remember how excited I was about quinoa in the last post?) this time around -- which we had had plenty of times before -- it seemed that was troubling him, too. Brown rice? Also out of the question for this guy.

Bean salad with a white wine/cumin vinaigrette. Yum!!

Are you kidding me?! After everything else we've cut out or strictly limited for him in addition to the foods eliminated on the diet, it really leaves very little.

So, he broke rank yesterday. He ate a cookie and then followed it up with some Sonic burger.

I'm still adhering to the diet (and feeling sooooooo much better), but not without my flubs for the past week and a half. One of the disadvantages of having done this before is a "Hey, I know what I'm doing!" attitude, and consequently, being a bit lax in reading labels. I put some vanilla extract in one of my quinoa breakfast experiments (which, by the way, was delish!!) which contains alcohol and sugar -- two banned ingredients. I might get away with the alcohol part by saying it was cooked away anyway, but the sugar? Yeah, even though it was a small amount I put in, not cool for the elimination diet.

And no, I still have not had ANY coffee -- not that I don't miss it. Sigh.

Some of you may be wondering about any weight loss since I mentioned in my initial post that that was a byproduct of my first experience with the diet. There has been some (2 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight -- yeay!!), but not much to brag about. I seem to keep fluctuating within a two-pound range of the same weight. I'm guessing the loss hasn't been substantial this time around because before we officially started the diet, I had already cut out the offending elements of gluten, dairy, and most sugar -- three major things that, if they're a regular part of the way you eat -- will cause a big change in your body if you cut them out completely.

I should also confess that I'm considering breaking rank a bit, too -- at least temporarily. If you read my other blog, then you know that my Mom and sister are in town (yeay!!) to visit that sweet baby Austen. We considered this ahead of time when planning to start the diet, but now that they're here, we're wondering how realistic it is for me to adhere to it the whole time they're visiting (one week). (No Sunday brunch at the Briarpatch? C'mon!!) So ... all that to say that I intend to remain faithful to the diet, but considering our company, I am not going to be too legalistic if it's going to be disruptive to our time together, or make for a less enjoyable experience.

I know, I know. 

I'd love to say that I'm going to be a die-hard elimination dieter, but if having a baby in the house for 3 months has taught me anything, it's that it's good to shoot for the ideal situation, but to be realistic too.

Sigh.

Elimination Diet :: Day 2

Yawn.

It's Day 2 of the elimination diet, and in my mind what that really means is Day 2 with NO COFFEE. (Whimper). It's also Day 2 of wondering why in the world I've committed myself to this yet again. And then I put it on the internet, so now I've got to follow through.

Pffffft. Why am I doing this again?!

Oh yeah. I want to  feel good, have more energy, rid my diet of crap, and all that.

So just in case anyone reading this is thinking of doing an elimination diet of this or any other sort, I want to be upfront about some of the obstacles/discouragements/roadblocks I've encountered in my experiences.

*****

Obstacle #1: TIRED!!
I remembered quickly one of the many things that makes this diet difficult, and it's this: there's a whole lot of TIRED right at the beginning. Nobody warned me about this before I did the diet for the first time, so if you're thinking of doing something like this, let me tell you: you're going to be extraordinarily tired for the first 3 days or so (like many things, I imagine this is different for everyone) while your body adjusts to a brand new way of eating.

You will never be so tempted to cheat and indulge in your morning coffee, that cup of green tea, or reach for that can of soda. DON'T DO IT. As they say, this too shall pass.

Obstacle #2: Inconvenient
Another thing that makes this diet difficult is that it's hardly convenient. When you eliminate all the foods on the list (and any foods that contain any of the ingredients), it pretty much leaves foods in their natural state, and you cursing at every nutritional facts label you see. Even the vast majority of those of us who pride ourselves on eating healthy are in the habit of reaching for convenient, prepared foods (think: sauces, dressings, marinades, dips, bread, cereal, granola bars, I could go on and on ...). The majority of them will not be elimination diet friendly.

Case in point: I like having chicken salad on some gluten-free crackers as part of my lunch. Since mayonnaise contains eggs, I knew that was out. So I looked up the ingredients of Vegenaise (a vegan version of mayonnaise) and was going down the list of ingredients until I got to the last one: lemon juice concentrate.

Are you kidding me?! Citrus? (another elimination diet no-no). Everything on the ingredients was diet-legal up until that point. And obviously a very healthy alternative to mayonnaise, but not okay for this particular diet.

Argh.

Yeah. No matter where it falls on the list of ingredients, anything that contains anything that's not allowed is ... well, not allowed.

Obstacle #3: Rationalizing
We took a 3-hour nap yesterday afternoon, we were so tired. Though I've tried it before with making exceptions to the diet for myself, it just doesn't work -- even with a lot of self control. I found myself asking James, "Should we allow ourselves a cheat day?" and "Should we do the elimination diet, except for the caffeine part?"

You know what he said to me?

"CHEATER!!"

That's right. Barely one full day down, and I was proposing that we cheat. Even if I'm 99.999% certain that caffeine doesn't offend my body in any way, the diet is easier to stick to if you keep to the whole thing. Because if you allow yourself one exception, pretty soon it's two, then three, and before you know it you're like, "What elimination diet?"

*****

What we've eaten
So, I did promise to share some of the things we've eaten so far on the diet to demonstrate that this can be done!! (Need to practice what I preach, eh?)

Quinoa with chicken, sauteed kale & grape tomatoes with a white wine-cumin dressing

If you haven't yet discovered quinoa (pronounced "keen - wah"), it's time you did. Though it cooks and acts like a grain in a lot of ways, it's actually a seed. It's extremely versatile and very, very healthy (think: protein, fiber, and amino acids). I grilled some chicken with salt and pepper, and did the same in a separate pan for the kale and grape tomatoes. Then I added this dressing from a Cooking Light recipe.

And it was yummy.

As far as breakfasts go, I had to be inventive. While there are plenty of permissible grains and starches on the elimination diet, I'm trying to limit those as much as I can. It took a lot of chopping, but this is what we came up with:

Sweet potato & tofu hash with kale, sweet peppers, and mushroom

Prep-heavy, to be sure ... but definitely worth the effort.

If you'll excuse me now, I'm off to enjoy another dinner. Stay tuned. :o)

Elimination Diet Reprise!

... and now we take a detour from our traditional fare for something else: FOOD. Oh yeah, baby. Food ... which, as it turns out, has spiritual dimensions when you consider our relationship to it.

But I digress.

What's up
Tomorrow, James and I are beginning a three-week elimination diet. Though the word "diet" has more or less been co-opted to mean changing one's eating in order to lose weight, the primary purpose of this particular diet is to help identify food sensitivities.

A brief history of the elimination diet
I was introduced to the Modified Elimination Diet in 2006 when, after over a year of suffering an undiagnosed digestive ailment and getting nowhere with modern medicine in regards to diagnosing and remedying the problem, I went to a naturopath. Doing this elimination diet was the first course of action. There are many versions of "elimination diets" out there, but the one I've linked to here is the one I did previously and as it turns out, the one we're about to start. After doing the diet, I learned my body was particularly sensitive to gluten (a protein found in wheat, oat, spelt, kamut, rye, and barley grains) and dairy. So I cut them out of my diet permanently and it was amazing how much better I felt.

And though the goal was not to lose weight, I lost 14 pounds in the three weeks I did it. Yowza!!

Why we're doing it now
While pregnancy was extraordinarily forgiving on my food sensitivities, the postpartum period is not. I cut out gluten and dairy again, but I was still having some tummy troubles (believe me, it's better if I spare you the gory details). So on the elimination diet we go! My goal is primarily to identify food sensitivities and for James, the main goal is help restore a healthier eating pattern.

What it is, how it works
If you haven't looked at the link, this elimination diet cuts out the following food groups:

• Gluten 
• Dairy
• Eggs
• Caffeine
• Fruits: citrus, strawberries
• Sugar
• Alcohol
• Meats: red meat, pork
• Nuts: peanuts, pistachio, macadamia

The idea is that you cut out ALL of these foods for a period of three weeks (and any foods that contain any of the offending ingredients listed above) to "cleanse" the body, and then add the foods back one at a time at the rate of one food type every other day to gauge how your body reacts to it. If it's one that's not so good for you, it's amazing how quickly you'll be able to notice how the body reacts to the food.

The challenge
Looking at that list, you may be thinking this is impossible. To be sure, it is a challenge. Eating this way eliminates virtually all processed/convenience foods and forces the dieter to get his or her calories elsewhere. It forces you to get creative. As someone who stayed faithful to this diet for a period of three weeks, I'm here to say that with some careful planning, it can be done.

Though we don't officially start until tomorrow, I've been concocting elimination diet-friendly meals in preparation for the three-week haul. Take a look at today's diet-friendly lunch:

Grilled turkey burger patty with avocado & sea salt; Sauteed kale & grape tomatoes; Baby Carrots

Delicious. Satisfying. And it's so pretty!

So what I'd like to do is chronicle our progress with the diet for you periodically. Don't worry, I'm not going to write about what we had for every single meal, but I'd like to share some of the more interesting ones with you to demonstrate that a person cutting out these foods can eat some tasty, tasty meals in spite of all that's being cut out.

That's right. This is potentially the most boring series of blog posts EVER.

A few extra notes:

• This diet isn't meant to be exhaustive, as in: it's not going to eliminate every single possible potentially-irritating food for every single person. It just doesn't, and I'm not claiming that it does.
• To wit, we won't be consuming anything in the onion family (including garlic, leeks, etc.) because bad things happen when James eats these (another instance where the gory details are better spared). We're also excluding broccoli because I'm nursing, and bad things happen for Austen when I eat it.
• The chart provided in the link says to eliminate salt, but going off of the guidelines handed to me by my naturopath in 2006, we're leaving it in. We're not completely nuts, after all. Also, stevia is a sweetener that's permitted in the diet (again, something from the lips of the naturopath).

An elimination diet no-no

You didn't ask, but I'll tell you:

• I think it's going to be most difficult for me to give up my morning latte (containing the offending elements of caffeine and sugar in the soy milk). That is some "yum!" and "aaahhh!" that I'm seriously going to miss!

And ... here we go!!