... there was a fair blogger named Kirsten. Kirsten was a single blogger and while she didn’t really mind the fact and found plenty to enjoy about it, she knew she wanted something more. No white knights, no towers, no dragon-guarded castles, mind you; she was no damsel in distress and frankly didn’t have the time or patience to grow sturdy ladder-worthy hair. Frankly, the thought alone made her scalp ache. Sigh. What’s a single gal to do?Then came a fairy godmother with a sparkling wand …
Okay, so not really. No godmother, just the magic of the internet. On a whim, Kirsten went to eHarmony.com, jumped through the hoops, took the test, and uploaded the photos. What could possibly happen? It's the internet! she quipped to a friend skeptically. Frankly, she didn’t expect much . Frankly, she wasn’t quite sure why she was doing it. Frankly, she was using the word “frankly” too much. That being said, with such low expectations she knew she would not be disappointed when this turned out to be One More Fruitless Endeavor in her quest for True Love. Sigh.
But it was worth a try, right?
Right?
Days and weeks went by. She got the odd requests for communication here and there, and I do mean odd: Do you like dogs? Dogs are so great! I love my dog a lot a lot a lot [Are you sure you're on the correct website?]. How do you feel about moving to Arizona and being a step-mom? [GASP! Choke!] Would you be willing to give up your career and personal goals to stay home and raise our [hypothetical] children? [RUN AWAY NOW!!!] Most of the matches were closed after she discovered that there were plenty of didn’t-fits, not-quite-rights, and not-if-my-life-depended-on-its. There were many days when this eHarmony gig felt like a second full-time job, this weeding through smelly piles of ill-fitting so-called “matches”. Sigh. And sigh again.
[Kirsten has been sighing a lot these days]
One request for communication started out like any other; questions were sent back and forth until finally, both our fair blogger and her would-be suitor decided to take the daring leap into the Land of Open Communication (which amounts to secure e-mails sent to each other via the eHarmony site). Of the two brave souls who dared venture this far, he was the second to make it through the gauntlet of guided communication and Kirsten’s own perilous, daunting, and positively bone-chilling scrutiny. But ... this daring adventurer was the first to whom she would grant a personal audience.
[insert fanfare here]
In short, open communication led to the request for a phone number. When granted, this led to speaking (much to the preference of both parties involved), which led to said personal audience (known in the vernacular as “a date”). This led to, well …
Sigh.
[dramatic pause]
Sigh.
Yep, I’m going to make you wait for that. Cruel, isn’t it? (Fairy tales always contain some small degree of cruelty, you know.)
To be continued … I promise.
Right?
Days and weeks went by. She got the odd requests for communication here and there, and I do mean odd: Do you like dogs? Dogs are so great! I love my dog a lot a lot a lot [Are you sure you're on the correct website?]. How do you feel about moving to Arizona and being a step-mom? [GASP! Choke!] Would you be willing to give up your career and personal goals to stay home and raise our [hypothetical] children? [RUN AWAY NOW!!!] Most of the matches were closed after she discovered that there were plenty of didn’t-fits, not-quite-rights, and not-if-my-life-depended-on-its. There were many days when this eHarmony gig felt like a second full-time job, this weeding through smelly piles of ill-fitting so-called “matches”. Sigh. And sigh again.
[Kirsten has been sighing a lot these days]
One request for communication started out like any other; questions were sent back and forth until finally, both our fair blogger and her would-be suitor decided to take the daring leap into the Land of Open Communication (which amounts to secure e-mails sent to each other via the eHarmony site). Of the two brave souls who dared venture this far, he was the second to make it through the gauntlet of guided communication and Kirsten’s own perilous, daunting, and positively bone-chilling scrutiny. But ... this daring adventurer was the first to whom she would grant a personal audience.
[insert fanfare here]
In short, open communication led to the request for a phone number. When granted, this led to speaking (much to the preference of both parties involved), which led to said personal audience (known in the vernacular as “a date”). This led to, well …
Sigh.
[dramatic pause]
Sigh.
Yep, I’m going to make you wait for that. Cruel, isn’t it? (Fairy tales always contain some small degree of cruelty, you know.)
To be continued … I promise.
Oh. My. Goodness. This is a GREAT story. And might I remind you of one ABClub event in which all sail ABClub members gathered to write fairy tales about . . . something or other? This one wins the prize.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear more, of course. I love the way you're telling this story. It made me laugh, and it made me excited for you!
Will someone be burnt to the crisp by a dragon (or spilled expresso?) Will there be sword play, a medium-sized giant or sweaty-tooth trolls in this story? Or is this one of those... kissing stories?
ReplyDeleteI, too, was going to bring up the ABClub Fairy Tale Event! Those were fun times =) I simply cannot wait for installment number two.
ReplyDeleteOh, 23 Degrees has made me chuckle. Personally, I'm hoping there's an amphibian, or at least a glass tennis shoe.
ReplyDeleteYou all make me chuckle. :o) I thought if I was going to write this, I may as well have some fun with it!
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that while this is all still new, there is also something profound. I'm learning so much through this entire process, especially as concerns guarding my heart. I am all the eager to give it away sometimes, and I'm definitely learning how to be more conscious and vigilant about protecting it.
I'm glad I could amuse my little audience & can assure you I won't keep you waiting much longer. :o)
man...i hate 'to be continued'!
ReplyDeletewhat a great tale....and now i'm eager for the next chapter! :)
Kirsten, you make me laugh! I can hardly wait to read the next installment, and I already know what happens!
ReplyDeleteOoh! I just thought of another question. I will have to email you. =)
I learned everything I know about how to keep people in suspense from TV. OK, just kidding. Or maybe not. I remember how an episode or season would end on a cliff-hanger, a sure way of ensuring viewers return (and spend the summer very annoyed). I assure you, friends ... you will find satisfaction here soon!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting!! I'm on tenterhooks...
ReplyDelete-Katie