05 October 2010

I miss him.

Ewan is gone. The sweet baby we so love and waited for, the one we fought for is in the arms of Jesus even now. There are no words to say how much my heart hurts. It went with him, I believe.



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Posted by kirsten at 10:30 AM
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24 comments:

  1. SarahOctober 5, 2010 at 10:52 AM

    I have been following you through Megan and I know there are no words that can help but please just know that I am praying for you and your family and your sweet baby boy

    xoxo

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  2. AnonymousOctober 5, 2010 at 11:25 AM

    I pray for you and your husband to find comfort that Ewan is with Jesus. Jesus is stoking Ewan's hair and looking into his eyes, with Ewan gazing back at him. Picture Jesus cradling Ewan now and taking care of his every need. Make time for yourself and be with your husband. God Bless you.

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  3. Kristy Z.October 5, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    I am so sorry. I only know you through your stories, but I share in your grief. You are an amazing mother. And no, life isn't supposed to happen this way. I am praying for you and your husband as you suffer this loss. Cling to God and one another during this time. And find peace in knowing that Ewan has experienced his ultimate healing, as difficult as it is to wrap our minds and hearts around this.

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  4. UnknownOctober 5, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    Tears...

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  5. terriOctober 5, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    i love you.

    every time i try to form words around this i get frustrated. nothing works. but i do love you, and i'm missing that baby with you. such a profound loss.

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  6. HennHouseOctober 5, 2010 at 4:43 PM

    Love you.

    And praying.

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  7. christianneOctober 5, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    I love that little boy. And I'm so glad you had a chance to capture so many precious photographs during your time with him, and especially of you holding him. Those are so, so precious. Love you.

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  8. SammyOctober 5, 2010 at 6:41 PM

    Words are utterly pointless at this point. But I sit near you (but far away on this little island) and weep with you. And pray. I am not sure for what, but I pray. For comfort and His presence to surround you xxx

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  9. SimplyDarleneOctober 5, 2010 at 8:06 PM

    my prayers will continue to pound Heaven's doors

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  10. JamieOctober 5, 2010 at 8:07 PM

    Saying sorry doesn't feel like enough, but it's all I can say. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  11. AnonymousOctober 5, 2010 at 8:23 PM

    From one mom to another...I am very sorry. I can't even imagine. Praying for you. Love from Indiana.

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  12. NickieOctober 5, 2010 at 10:35 PM

    I am praying for you.

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  13. JamieOctober 6, 2010 at 12:32 AM

    There are no words I can give you to take your pain away, but I wish there were. Just know you are all in my prayers.

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  14. Carol {Everyday Delights}October 6, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    Sending lots of prayers your way. I am so so sorry for your loss. Love from Seattle.

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  15. The Horne'sOctober 6, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    My heart aches. I don't know you but heard the story as I'm on staff at Christ The King Community Church.
    I am so deeply saddened.
    I had a baby July 2nd and since then, my hearts capacity and compassion has changed drastically.
    I truly and deeply hurt for you and cannot even begin to imagine all of the feelings running through your body.
    I am praying for a peace to surpass all understanding for you.
    Your writings are inspiring, real, raw and touching.
    Thank you.

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  16. NathanOctober 6, 2010 at 6:23 PM

    All of you are in my heart.

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  17. 23 degreesOctober 7, 2010 at 12:17 AM

    Kirsten, I have been following the story of your son over the last months, and have been praying for him, for you and your husband. I am standing with you in your loss and grieving with you.

    Ten years ago, our daughter was born early and under 3 pounds. I didn't know how many days I would have with her, but I saw each day as a gift and counted each moment a miracle. This is my prayer for you.

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  18. Lemonade Makin' MamaOctober 7, 2010 at 12:57 AM

    Praying for you during this time.

    I remember your sweet family from Northlake, but see you all often at CTK.

    Blessings,
    Sasha Brodeur

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  19. UnknownOctober 7, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    praying over and again.

    hcb care for you and we are all standing around you in love.

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  20. Dena DyerOctober 7, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your husband during this excruciating time.

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  21. New Breed of AdvertisersOctober 7, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    My sincere condolences to you and to your family, Kirsten.

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  22. L.L. BarkatOctober 7, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    Reeling. Absolutely reeling. I am so sorry, dear Kirsten. So, so sorry.

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  23. AnonymousOctober 16, 2010 at 2:13 AM

    My granddaughter, Emma, was born the day of Ewan's passing. It's odd to think of it this way, but I can imagine them passing each other - one in transit to earth, her journey beginning, and one back to God, his journey done. They see each other's faces and smile, for, together their two half hearts would make one whole ... You see, Emma began this journey with the treatment and procedures for HLHS the morning Ewan's journey was complete! It is so true: length of life comes with no guarantees. We hope to have Emma here to live a full life, and yet none of us can measure how many days that will be...or years...or even decades! But I think of what a friend told me when she found out about Emma's HLHS: "You have her now...and you'll always have her...because SHE IS." That is Ewan too: no one can take him from you ... he is ... and always will be ... that little Soul you gave life to lives now with God, but HE IS because of you. Maybe Emma, passing by Ewan, called for him to play with her little sibling whom we lost in miscarriage last year. Surely she/he and Ewan are playing on God's streets of gold at this very minute...and they are smiling...and whole! God IS good, as my son writes on Emma's blog daily. Even when from our perspective things are bad, God IS good! God bless you in the days ahead. I am so glad that Ewan IS.
    Emma's Nana Jana
    www.emmajanae.blogspot.com

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  24. Scott R. DavisNovember 16, 2010 at 3:44 AM

    so sorry to hear of your loss of Ewan after all your struggles. May His arms wrap around you and your husband and extended family.

    scott R. Davis
    www.scottrdavis.blogspot.com

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