27 July 2011

Where I Belong

I'm home now. In (gulp) Florida. And it's so unfamiliar.

One of the canals of the Winter Park scenic boat tour

The word home evokes a variety of emotional responses responses for me. I think of warmth and familiarity, a place where I am accepted and known. But I don't feel any of these things here. At least not yet. There are two or three people in the whole state who really know me, and only a few of the streets I've driven are acquiring even the faintest sense of the familiar for me.

I suppose it helps that I didn't expect to feel warm and familiar from the moment I set foot here. I expected I would be tired and frustrated, adjusting not only to a new locale, but also to a new reality: up until a couple of weeks ago, I had always been either a full-time student or full-time employee. And now (gulp), I'm neither. Our insurance agent used the word "homemaker" to describe my occupation. Well ... if you insist. The place and the title are so foreign and unfamiliar.

But I do belong here, nonetheless. It isn't a feeling, but rather a fact of this new life. James is here, his job is here. We are going to have a baby here (and more after this one, Lord willing) and are committed to building a life here.

Washington State will always be where I'm from, and if I think of home, I am naturally going to think of that place first.

But this place? This is home now. And it may not feel like it, but this is where I belong.


  1. Love you, Kirsten Michelle Haaland Petermann! You have such a beautiful way of putting things and walking through them with grace.
    Blessings to you and James and your little biscuit...

  2. Before you know it, it will feel like home. You've had a lot to deal with in the last year. Slowly things will feel "normal" again.

    I love the area that you are living. I was married in Winter Park and we go back to the park where we got married every time we hit the Orlando vacation scene.

    Good luck to you guys!

  3. As a 'homemaker' who basically moves for a living, I totally understand your words. Belonging is a mental state that rides on the back of familiarity. I pray you find both soon :)

  4. Smiling to read this, and glad you are where you belong.

    Sending along hugs and prayers for you as you adjust to this new place and space of belonging and home.

  5. make them check "writer" next time. that's what you are.

  6. I'm glad you made it safely and you and your husband are together again. I pray this time of adjustment goes well for you and that florida will become a beautiful home for your family. It is an odd thing at first, becoming a homemaker. I had always worked before I started my homemaking days, but I would never go back unless I had to.

  7. It takes time to warm to a new place, especially one such as the South for us who have known so much different.

    My heart is with you in this time. I am praying renewal for you.

    Love you so much.

  8. A calming, peaceful Winter Park shot, very nicely composed. That must have been a glorious boat ride.