16 February 2010

amongst friends

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:3-8

golden grass

I've been very quiet around here lately, and there's a reason. I know that amongst friends, there's no need for explanation or apology, but I just wanted to reach out and say hello. You know how it is when you've been cut off from the world for several days: whether you're sick or snowed in, or something like that? All you want is to get back to life and re-engage with the people and things that give you energy and joy.

That's kind of what this past week or more has felt like. Between nausea and a headcold, I've logged many hours on our couch and filled a trash bin with used, crumpled tissue. I feel like anything I write would simply convey: I feel icky and cut off, and I'm just going to tell you how icky and cut off I feel. I'm not taking many pictures and getting to the gym is a rarity. Naps are frequent, and it appears my body needs a seemingly-unrealistic 9-10 hours of sleep each night.

Bleh. Frustration is a very real temptation.

My prayer these days centers around learning to embrace this as a season, as a way of engaging with the humility of Christ and giving myself over to the creative work going on within me. I have been thinking a lot about how Christ emptied himself, made Himself nothing. For me, this means letting go of giving my creative energy to camera time in favor of the getting the rest my body needs. It means letting go of my plans and my schedule and paying attention to the demands of the present moment. It means counting this child as more significant than myself.

I've been giving a lot of thought to what type of Lenten fast or devotion I can commit to this season. Given the state of affairs, my thought is that it will have to do not so much with a fast as it will a devotion to the humility of Christ by way of a daily prayer for humility. It seems to be what I'm called toward in this season: to serve and to be thankful, not to seek my own way, but to allow God to have His way with me.

Blessings to you this Lenten season!!


  1. You are so beautiful, Kirsten.
    You captured what my heart has been feeling lately, and of course, has felt before.

    Sometimes I wonder if the seasons could just hold off until I am done living out one,
    but yes,
    the prayer for humility.

    Thank you for this.

  2. Thank you for the link to the prayer. My husband and I will also be doing more of the hours during Lent (and more consistently).
    Feel better!

  3. Thank you for sharing that scripture. I know I need to put others above myself also. It's so easy to be all about me and I know that's not what God wants of me.

    I'm sorry you're not feeling well.

  4. I just wanted to say hi and that I found you through Kelly's over @ This Restless Heart. Love the title of your blog and your photos. Look forward to reading more of your work.

    Congrats on your pregnancy!

  5. Oh, I do love Philippians. Every time I read it, something new pops out.

    I love what Erin over at Biscotti Brain says about Lent... http://biscotti_brain.blogspot.com/2010/02/rethinking-lent.html

  6. I hope that you feel better. I'm sure this part of pregnancy is hard...I'll bet there are many other women who have gone through it who felt that same frustration. You seem to have such a great attitude about it though. That is an inspiration others...like myself. I hope you feel better soon and more than likely it'll be much better once that second trimester comes around...so I hear... ;0)

  7. Bless you. Did you read Don Miller's blog sometime this weekend? Just keep plowing!

  8. I love your heart here, friend. I can feel that frustration in your words that you felt from the headcold and all those crumpled tissues. I can feel how it made you feel far from the world of activity you wanted to join. But I can also feel the surrender you've shared here to the beauty God is growing within you.

    You have such a tender, beautiful heart. I'm thankful to call you friend.

  9. Hi Kirsten!

    I too have been quiet on here for a while!...lol...for about a year..lolol..anyway..just dropped in to say hello to EVERYONE!..i hope all is well...

    Peace and blessings!