Good Friday

Let us beset the just one, because he is obnoxious to us; he sets himself against our doings, Reproaches us for transgressions of the law and charges us with violations of our training.


He professes to have knowledge of God and styles himself a child of the LORD.


To us he is the censure of our thoughts; merely to see him is a hardship for us,
Because his life is not like other men's, and different are his ways.


He judges us debased; he holds aloof from our paths as from things impure. He calls blest the destiny of the just and boasts that God is his Father.


Let us see whether his words be true; let us find out what will happen to him.


For if the just one be the son of God, he will defend him and deliver him from the hand of his foes.


With revilement and torture let us put him to the test that we may have proof of his gentleness and try his patience.


Let us condemn him to a shameful death; for according to his own words, God will take care of him.


Wisdom 2:12-20 (1st or 2nd century BC)

For Lent

I've been away from this space for awhile, devoting most of my blogging time these days to Team Ewan. Being back at work means there's less time during the day in which I can let my fingers wander around on the keyboard, fumbling through thoughts and words that will translate somehow into English.

Ash Wednesday

Lent is officially upon us, and that means I've been setting aside the time to engage in some extra disciplines, as well as taking some time to consider ways I can better love and serve. I've given up my snooze button in favor of being able to devote a portion of my morning to prayer, and I've also been following along the readings for the daily Mass, a habit I always intended to form someday. I've found it incredibly helpful for guiding my thoughts and reflections throughout the day, and for orienting my heart toward the heart of God.

Even if you're not Catholic or don't normally engage in a liturgical style of worship, you too might find something like these helpful as we journey together through a season of penitence and service in preparation for Good Friday and Easter.

Yesterday's readings can be found here (I don't know when I've found Leviticus so incredibly moving). Check out this past Friday's as well if you get a chance (I love Isaiah).

How are you observing the season of Lent?

a poem for lent, and other things

One of the sponsors from my RCIA group gave the group of us catechumens and candidates (those converts who are already baptized) a Lenten devotional book as a gift. I admit, I've omitted reading this more days than I've engaged with it, but I have found a lot of treasure there.

The following poem by Rita A. Simmonds, graces the inside cover. This one gets me in the gut.

Sacrifice

It was just yesterday
when the sun rose
on the memory of things
broken, trashed
and carried away,
and I had to ask
if I could still love
what couldn't last,
if there was
something other than forgetfulness
for devastating loss,
if there was someone who could save
my heart from fraud.

And I remembered the Man
who loved to the point of absurdity:
Whose side held a lance
till all the blood and water
that waited could let go.

Real love has hung and died,
and must be carried
with panting and heavy sighs
to a cold place
where stone walls
reinforce the definitiveness
of the end.

But the true nature
of love
is human,
so it waits,
and divine,
so it rises
and lives again.

Let nothing
dam the flow of breaking love.

* * * * *

A few other random smatterings from my life:
First of all, I apologize. My life right now is all about what my body is doing and how it is adjusting to pregnancy. You might not particularly care about or want to know about the truths I list below, but this is my reality.

* I'm still dealing with nausea on a regular basis. Sadly, it doesn't confine itself to a particular block of time during the day, but lasts all day, getting particularly bad at night.
* Thinking about my prenatal vitamins, imagining them, getting a whiff of them, or being anywhere in proximity to them makes the point above particularly bad. Eww.
* I'm sleeping well, that is ... when I'm not getting up every hour and a half to use the bathroom.
* Next midwife appointment is tomorrow!!
* My latest craving? Cottage cheese and pickles. And not just any pickles mind you: I want Claussen Dill spears. Oh, yes.

And speaking of Lent ...
During the season of Lent, those in the process of conversion (such as myself) are going through a season called the Scrutinies, which aren't nearly as scary as they sound (trust me, it's nothing at all like the Spanish Inquisition). Basically, it's an opportunity to reflect more deeply on the steps we're taking and the commitment we're preparing to make to the Church. As such, I've been writing a lot more on my own and am thinking about posting in a series format what led to this decision. It will be good for me to recall and articulate those things that brought me to this place, and it just might prove helpful for someone someday who is considering taking the same steps.

A question for you:
Are you engaging in a particular devotion or fast for Lent? If so, what is it and how is it working for you?

amongst friends

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:3-8

I've been very quiet around here lately, and there's a reason. I know that amongst friends, there's no need for explanation or apology, but I just wanted to reach out and say hello. You know how it is when you've been cut off from the world for several days: whether you're sick or snowed in, or something like that? All you want is to get back to life and re-engage with the people and things that give you energy and joy.

That's kind of what this past week or more has felt like. Between nausea and a headcold, I've logged many hours on our couch and filled a trash bin with used, crumpled tissue. I feel like anything I write would simply convey: I feel icky and cut off, and I'm just going to tell you how icky and cut off I feel. I'm not taking many pictures and getting to the gym is a rarity. Naps are frequent, and it appears my body needs a seemingly-unrealistic 9-10 hours of sleep each night.

Bleh. Frustration is a very real temptation.

My prayer these days centers around learning to embrace this as a season, as a way of engaging with the humility of Christ and giving myself over to the creative work going on within me. I have been thinking a lot about how Christ emptied himself, made Himself nothing. For me, this means letting go of giving my creative energy to camera time in favor of the getting the rest my body needs. It means letting go of my plans and my schedule and paying attention to the demands of the present moment. It means counting this child as more significant than myself.

I've been giving a lot of thought to what type of Lenten fast or devotion I can commit to this season. Given the state of affairs, my thought is that it will have to do not so much with a fast as it will a devotion to the humility of Christ by way of a daily prayer for humility. It seems to be what I'm called toward in this season: to serve and to be thankful, not to seek my own way, but to allow God to have His way with me.

Blessings to you this Lenten season!!