a word to the not-so-wise

25 weeks pregnant & feeling fabulous

22 June 2010

I had little idea when I became pregnant just how much having an obviously pregnant belly (to many people, I'm discovering) translates to implicit permission to touch the belly (which I was prepared for, and really don't mind) and to offer uncensored commentary on the size of the belly (which I was not prepared for, and am really starting to mind). Over the past several days, I've heard more than I ever imagined I would about the size of my belly.

That being said, I love my belly. I love the shape and the feel of it, and I love how it looks. But even having this mindset coupled with a good sense of humor, dealing with these comments is getting to be wearing downright irritating.

Perhaps I just have not been around enough pregnant women lately, or maybe I just haven't been noticing. But I've always taken it as a universally understood point of social etiquette that when commenting on a pregnant woman's appearance, stating anything other than "You look great!" should be considered with the same amount of caution with which one would consider jumping off a fifty-story building without a parachute or the guarantee of an appropriately soft landing spot.

Boy, was I wrong! As it turns out, common sense is not so common, and people out there everywhere are throwing caution to the wind and putting themselves in harm's way: straight in the path of the irritated pregnant woman.

I kid you not -- if I had a dime for every time someone told me how huge or ready-to-pop I looked over the past three or four days -- I would have at least a dollar. Quite possibly more (but not quite enough to buy a grande decaf soy coffee frapuccino lite with one pump of sugar-free vanilla). And though perhaps I shouldn't be, I'm surprised.

Here are two things I (and most other people -- I think) know:
1. Nearly all women at some point in their lives are sensitive and/or emotional about size/weight/appearance.
2. Pregnant women have, at any given time, an overwhelming and unfathomable amount of hormones coursing through their bodies, the likes of which tend to amplify or exacerbate any given emotional state.

Therefore:
"You look great" is always an appropriate thing to say to a pregnant woman.

"You're HUGE!" , "You look ready to POP! When are you due?", or alternately "Are you sure you're not having twins?" are good examples of things that definitely should not be said.

Needless to say, I am going to spend my free waking hours and minutes coming up with some witty repartee for these types of comments. Or maybe I'll swing my hips just so, and swing them back with enough velocity so as to whack them with my huge must-contain-twins belly.

What about you?
If you've been pregnant before, have you come across this type of commentary? What did people say? What was your response? If you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Or, have you said anything like this to a pregnant woman before (and are brave enough to admit it here)? How did she respond?

P.S. Please keep in mind this is all in good fun. :o)
P.P.S. There's a new post up over at the Team Ewan blog about asking God why. It's not quite as funny as today's post, but I still think there's something to it.