16 June 2014

bambino #3

Most expectant parents I know anticipate the 20-week ultrasound with some eagerness and happy anticipation. Oh, we get to see the baby! and if you're the type of couple that wants to find out the sex, Today's the day we find out if we're buying ballerina tutus or baseball caps!

Ever since Ewan, there has never been such a thing as a routine test or ultrasound in any of my pregnancies. And so it was no surprise to me to wake up this morning well before it was light, and check the time on my phone.

3:30 am: T-minus 6 hours to appointment time.


I reminded myself of all the things that were supposed to help me stop worrying: although not impossible, it was statistically unlikely that we'd have another child with a heart defect or other life-threatening abnormality. I was just feeling this way because our very first experience of a 20-week ultrasound threw us into the deep end of every expectant parent's worst nightmare. It probably wasn't going to happen like that again.

I breathed in deep, exhaling slowly.

There was no going back to sleep, and no ever going back to the days of blithely expecting the Best News Ever when you've already been the "someone else" to whom some of the Awful Things have happened.

I let out a breath of relief when everything the ultrasound tech saw today was normal, perfect, healthy as can be. Baby was perfectly developed in every respect, and flipped around from top to bottom a couple of times, probably just to show off and impress us.

I know pregnancies are common, and that healthy babies are born every day, but ever since Ewan I think that it's not overstating it in the least to say that IT IS A FRIGGING MIRACLE that any of us come out that way, with all our parts in the right places and working as they should.

And so we don't take it for granted. We're so grateful to God for another very spunky, healthy child (so much for having a mellow one this time around, eh?) and for the chance to be parents to another sweet kiddo.

So, without further ado, Baby #3 is a ...

P.S. We're leaning toward one name in particular, but aren't totally settled on it yet, so no news on that front just yet. :)

NOTE: For those of you who may not be familiar with our story, the monkey in the picture belonged to our first child, Ewan, who passed away at 16 days old after bravely enduring several surgeries to treat a complex congenital heart defect. From the time he was five days old (his first open-heart surgery) until the day he died, he usually had his arm wrapped tightly around it.


  1. Just came across your blog today, Congratulations on your baby :)

  2. Hi Kirsten! After losing you on Instagram (and not wanting to re-request cuz I felt weird) several months ago, you popped into my head tonight during prayers and I immediately thought "I bet she's expecting again". Imagine my delight to look up your blog and find that I was right. : ). Congratulations!! And God Bless.
    -Dana @the_vine93

  3. Oh my goodness! Baby #3 - how very exciting! Congratulations! Pregnancy is a very good reason not to be writing on your blog...or doing much of anything besides taking care of you, your family and the little guy growing in your belly. And, yeah, I don't come here for hot topic discussions...just very touched by Ewan and your family's journey and of course, love the pictures of that cute curly-headed girl.


  4. Hi Kirsten! My name is Heather and I wanted to know if you could answer a quick question I have about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

  5. Hi Kirsten! I think of you every now and then and wonder how you're doing. (And I think of you whenever I think of canonicity and the Council of Jamnia, so thanks for that. ; ) ) I'm SO GLAD you're expecting again! Hooray! God bless you and your fam! (In case I sound like a stalker, we've corresponded in the past about my coming into the Church, and we were friends on FB.) (Hmm, that kind of makes me sound like more of a stalker.) (But I'm totally not. I just saw you commented on Conversion Diary and clicked over to this blog.) (Oh. I guess I am a a stalker.)

  6. Hi. I was just thinking about your blog Team Ewan so I'm glad to find you here. I am so happy for you! I also lost my baby girl Sept 2010 and had my rainbow baby in January 2012. I followed your blog throughout my entire pregnancy because we were only a couple of weeks apart. Thank you for sharing your journey...I know it helped me. :)

  7. Hi Kirsten. I remember hearing you on Barbara McGuigan's show on EWTN after Ewan was born. I immediately started following TeamEwan.com and wanted to help so badly. I overnighted a second class relic of St. Gianna to you, confident that it would help in his recovery. I was so heartbroken to hear the following morning that Ewan had passed away. I have a daughter that was born two months prior to Ewan and often when I look at her I think back to that time and of Ewan's short but beautiful life. Your daughter is just as cute as can be, and congratulations on baby #3 on the way! I'm so thankful that your ultrasound went well, and I am so glad to have found you writing in this space. You have a beautiful way with words! I agree with an earlier post of yours though that the internet can be such a damaging and hurtful place. It's hard to know what to put out there. You want to be genuine and write about things that you care about, but it's also frightening.

  8. So glad to see you back and congratulations!!

  9. Thinking of you, Kirsten! I'm guessing new baby has arrived and you're very busy with a newborn and toddler! Many prayers for you and your family.