09 November 2010

The Gift of Presence

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  
Romans 12:15

I can't tell you how much it means to me to experience the love of God through our friends -- to be on the receiving end of another's sacrifice: of time, of traveling, of sleeping on the couch. And it is all so James and I wouldn't have to be alone as we settle into a life that is decidedly and mournfully Ewan-less.

Christianne & me

Jill came first during the last week of October -- her baby Joshua died of a severe heart defect just two days after Ewan did. Though our paths were unique, we each understood a very particular kind of grief. Christianne came and stayed for a few days later -- we laughed, and she held my hand while I cried. She mourned with me.

And in just a few days, Terri and Sarah are coming. None of us knows what our time together will hold, but I imagine we will enjoy more of the same: moments filled with a cacophony of laughter, and moments where words fail us all and are filled instead with tears.

I have such good and loving friends.

P.S. I know it might seem as though I've abandoned this space. I'm fairly certain that no one holds it against me, but it's my own neuroses perhaps that compel me to explain that it's because Team Ewan is a space for me to journal and spill my thoughts about everything right now, since everything I experience and think about lately is shaped by the loss of our beautiful boy. But I'm still here. I haven't left.


  1. I love you. So, so thankful for our time. I will always cherish it, as I cherish you.

  2. I'm so glad that there have been friends coming to offer presence...

  3. thinking of you more and more as friday approaches.

  4. Thankful I get to come be present to you. Blessings!

  5. Grateful for "God-with," Emmanuel, in woman-form coming to companion you.

  6. I am still reading both blogs. And still keep you and your family on my prayer list. Just consider it a prayer roll...they will keep coming. Thank God for friends.

  7. I think about you and your struggle often and I wanted to come forward as one of your silent supporters and let you know that you and Ewan are in my prayers. I have been a fan of your photography for the past year (I first saw your holiday photo on PW in 2009) I had no idea what had happened until last month and I have been all but consumed with your story. I know you have a long road ahead of you and I'm so grateful that you have given us a chance to share your life with the world.

    Much love and comfort to you.