fyi (a service announcement for the general public regarding my pregnancy)

I don't know whether I receive more unsolicited pregnancy comments than the average child-bearing woman, but I seem to get plenty. This should cover all the bases for those curious strangers out there ...

34 weeks pregnant by kirsten michelle

We are having a boy and are naming him Ewan (pronounced like the words "you win" strung together). My due date is October 5.

Yes, the belly is "for real".

No, I am not having twins (or multiples of any other number).

Yes, I am sure about the due date (really).

Yes, it is quite hot this summer and no, we don't always get to plan when and how these things happen.

No, I haven't popped yet. Speaking of popping, could you please make your eyes pull back into your skull? They kind of freak me out.

Yes, I do know that my ankles are swollen. If it bothers you to look at them, please avert your eyes.

No, I am not ready to "just be done." Here's a thought: try asking me how I feel about it instead of assuming that I must loathe my pregnant condition. While I am well aware that this stage of pregnancy comes with its share of discomforts, I am one of those rare creatures who truly enjoys being pregnant and giving this baby what he needs for as long as he needs it. It's a privilege, not a burden.

Thank you very much for your unsolicited opinion regarding my size, and I am terribly sorry to have to reveal the wrongness of your opinion, but my doctor and medical science would disagree with your assessment that I'm "huge" or "so big." I am measuring exactly on track for a woman carrying one baby at this stage of pregnancy. I'm supposed to look this way.

It's really not any of your business, but my weight gain is also within normal ranges.

I am feeling great (thank you) and my energy levels are off the charts. I can still kick butt at the gym.

Yes, I am hungry again.

And yes ... I am going to eat that.

kansas :: four

I almost missed this one.

We were going back through the shots of the birthday party after I had already pronounced myself finished processing them (it's just a reality that when you take nearly 500 pictures of an event, you have to be choosy as to which ones are given the special treatment). And I saw this one. I was drawn to the energy and the much-younger version of myself I saw in it.

jump like you mean it
photo by kirsten michelle (2010)

This is Dacia, our niece. She's the one on the diving board, arms thrown back, knees bent, poised to jump, daring the water. She's not scared of jumping in, she's not hesitating, and she's not being quiet about it.

Once upon a time, this could have been me. This picture spoke to me and made me wonder so many things: about what happens as we get older that makes us scared and hesitant and too practical for our own good, about how we start to be afraid of the water instead of daring the water to be afraid of us. Somewhere along the way, I stopped throwing my arms back and jumping in. Somewhere along the way, I became the type of person to dip my toes in first, to slide into the water gradually and let myself acclimate to the temperature instead of making a splash.

I became the type of person who cared if her hair got wet. What the heck?!

I'm not talking about becoming irresponsible, but living with passion and abandon and enthusiasm, of taking some calculated risks, of giving something your all -- of daring the water to be afraid of you. Because you're fierce. Because you are a force to be reckoned with. I know how the ability to live this way is lost; what I'm more concerned with is how I get it back.

I really want to know your thoughts on this:

Do you feel like this has happened to you at any point in your life (losing your ability to "jump right in")? What does this look like? Have you made changes in any area of your life that allow you to live this way? Any stories, anecdotes, experiences, or insights you have in this regard are welcome here.