beautiful-ordinary

Every weekday, I wake up at 4:15 to take my temperature and pop a thyroid pill. Generally, I'll snooze a few minutes and push myself out of bed and lumber toward the bathroom. Flicking on the light, I reach for my toothbrush and nine times out of ten, will lament the frizziness of my hair.

I boil the water for my coffee in the red tea kettle we received as a wedding gift (which, sadly, doesn't whistle), pour it over the grainy, brown, and aromatic grounds of the Pike Place Blend coffee I had especially ground for my French press. After four minutes, I pour the brew into a favorite mug, add a packet of stevia, stir in some vanilla soy creamer and enjoy. My fingers cling to the ceramic curves, soaking in its heat, and I enjoy every life-giving sip.

I go to work, wrap myself in a black fleece blanket that has "Happy Holidays 2002" embroidered on a corner, and sit the cubicle and type words into the computer. To my left are sixteen pictures from my wedding and honeymoon that I had printed with thin black borders, and they make me happy.

After I work, I might grocery shop, picking up several bags of frozen green beans and some fish for dinner. I might select a bottle of wine that generally costs about $6-10 and then head to the gym. I like the cardio theatre for its darkness and how cool it feels. I'll go out and work the weights: squats, lunges, presses, curls. I feel good and accomplished when I'm done.

I drive home in about five minutes, drop off my grocery and gym bags, and my husband greets me: "Hello, sweet one." I kiss him, hug him, hang up my black wool coat, and sit down on the couch. He asks me if I want anything to drink.

After dinner, we sit on the couch together. We might watch a video on YouTube or from our Netflix queue. I'm probably processing pictures I took five days ago. I like to drape my legs and feet across his lap and relax, resting my head on the arm of the couch. We do this until I can't stand to stay awake anymore (generally, about 9:30 pm) and get ready for bed. I savor the moment just after I pull back the sheets and the comforter and I can crawl into bed with my too-cool body, sharing in his warmth.

He kisses me, wraps his arms around me, and then we sleep.

This is our beautiful-ordinary life. There is no glamour, no glitz, no flash. We are far too boring to have our own reality TV show, and that's just the way we like it (no matter, we don't have cable anyway). From the outside, our lives look like a lot of others right now. But this life is ours, and I love it.

Please tell me about your beautiful-ordinary life. What "ordinary" moments of your day are extraordinary and beautiful to you?

photo by kirsten.michelle

it is time ...

... for cold weather

... for scarves


... for decorating


... for family




...for watching and waiting.


I watch and wait with you, in hope and expectation.

36 reasons to celebrate james

Today is my Beloved's birthday and so I thought it would be fun to come up with a reason for every year of his life why I adore the sweet man I call my husband. The list ranges in reasons from silly and superficial to deeply serious, and are the first things that came to mind at the time I was writing it.

I wish I could take credit for this idea, but I cannot: the idea came from a Facebook friend of mine who did the same for her husband on his birthday. It was difficult to limit myself to just 36 reasons, but (Lord-willing) I will have many years ahead in which to add others.

Or maybe next time, I will come up with 10 reasons for each year of his life ...

James Polaroids, ca. 2002
Canon 40D

Reasons to celebrate James:
Because he first loved me.
He calls me his “sweet one”.
He does the dishes and cleans the bathroom.
My lips are the only ones he’s kissed.
His shaven cheeks are soft and sweet.
He maintains high ideals, even when it seems crazy to do so.
He is unashamed of the gospel.
He cares deeply about knowing the Truth, and living accordingly (even when it hurts like hell).
He’s serious.
He’s hilarious and silly.
He’s just the right amount of nerdy.
He’s generous.
He picks up homeless people, gives them a good meal, and sits and talks to them about Jesus.
He can quote Shakespeare (mostly Hamlet and Much Ado About Nothing) at the most appropriate times.
He speaks New Testament Greek to me and knows exactly what it means.
He tweaks popular songs to include my name.
He gets these songs stuck in my head.
He put a ring on my finger and could hardly wait to say his vows.
He’s made an adjective of my name: “kirsteny”.
He whispered to me at the altar on our wedding day: “I want to be one with you.”
He’s not afraid to cry when something moves him.
He likes to talk to our as-yet unconceived “baby Kirstens” in my belly.
He loves my crazy family.
He’s really, really cute.
He can put together Ikea furniture without losing his sanity.
He has saved me from a slobbering, nasty drunk guy.
He doesn’t run away when I cry.
He’s the safest person I know.
He gets the mail.
He is the man of God’s dreams for me.
He left a place of familiarity to move to a place he had never been to marry me.
He is loving, even toward people he doesn’t know.
He refuses to compromise.
While his intensity can overwhelm me at times, I know I can trust that it’s aimed at knowing and living in truth and the highest possible earthly good.
He catches my tears.
I am his, and he is mine.

Happy Birthday, James!! I love you
XOXO

cemetery walks in autumn

It's not often that we get crisp autumn days and sun around here. Because I had some new photo-editing software demanding that I play with it, I was compelled to go for a walk with my camera yesterday.

Happy autumn!

P.S. This is post #200 on lattes & rainy days. Whoo-hoo!!

cemetery/autumn photos by kirsten.michelle

the latte diet {a sip or 2 of stewardship}

I cannot believe it's already been a full week since I last posted anything here!! The week has been a flurry of activity at work and in the goings-on in the slice of life I claim away from my job and the blogosphere {who knew such a slice of life existed?!}.

I am awake; I'm out of bed and moving about. I am most definitely looking forward to sharing some of the goings-on of this week with you in the near future. But for now, some of it is going to be tucked away in a file with big red letters reading TOP SECRET stamped on the cover. It's just a little bit mean to bait you with that information, but I won't lie: it keeps me entertained!

I've had much on my mind lately, and while what you're about the read is not the most exciting on my list {not by a longshot}, it is something important to me; so I want to share with you the results of this recent project/experiment I've undertaken.

As the title of this blog suggests, I like lattes. I enjoy them quite a bit. One might even say I love them.

Each sip of a good latte is a taste of heaven for me and not a single one goes unappreciated. When I get that cup full of hot espresso and steamed soy milk, I wrap my chilled fingers closely around the cup and let its heat radiate outward, translating itself into hands that are hungry for the heat it offers. Tensing my muscles in anticipation, I inhale deeply, put the lid of the cup up to my lips, slowly take in that first sip, savoring it in my mouth for a moment until I finally swallow. My muscles release and a deep sigh of contentment escapes my lungs as it slides down my throat and nestles into my belly. Mmm …

These tastes of heaven and sighs of contentment come at a price, however. I have yet to find the coffee shop that gives away its beverages for free {NOTE: if you find one, I am willing to relocate}. These cups of contentment add up in a very objective, dollars and cents kind of way. The price seems so innocent, so benign when it’s one at a time. But collectively, that’s something else.

This past Tuesday, I grit my teeth, logged on to my credit union’s website, and went through the past two months of bank statements to see how often I was making purchases as well as to gather some hard data around exactly how much I was spending. I've known for awhile that it was time to take the long view regarding my latte habit. The number wasn’t as much as I feared, but it was enough to make me reconsider whether or not this was the best use of the money with which God has entrusted to me. Seeing as I’ve been averaging a little over twenty pit stops per month (gasp!!), the answer to this one was a no-brainer: I didn’t have to banish lattes completely, but my behavior and habits would need to change.

I was already at least partway set up for success: I had a French press my brother gave me around Christmas-time that was gathering dust in a kitchen cabinet I can only reach with a stepstool. For the cost of about two lattes, I recently purchased 10 oz. of a wonderful, fair-trade organic coffee. For the cost of about half a latte, I purchase a container of vanilla soy creamer. Add a little squeeze of the agave syrup already in my possession to sweeten it, and I was good to go.

So for the cost of 2.5 lattes, I’ve already had 5 cups of coffee. The French press version with soy creamer mimics my favorite pricey drink quite well and even if I had used up all the coffee beans as of today {which I have not, of course}, I’ve already saved myself the cost of nearly three lattes and the savings will only compound with each cup consumed of the French press version, assuming it is standing in for a would-be latte purchase.

My new morning pick-me-up has already paid for itself in less than a week. I enjoy it every bit as much as the real deal. A bonus on top of the dollars saved is I’m also reducing waste in the process. I am guilty of being one of those consumers who goes through the drive-through and gladly defaults to the paper cup. I now take my coffee with me in a ceramic tumbler that is easily rinsed and washed once I’ve gulped down my morning brew. Sounds like a win-win to me!

If I reduce my consumption of lattes to average out to one or even two lattes per week, I'm in a position for an annual savings of several hundred dollars. While over the course of a year a few hundred dollars may not seem like much, the advantages far outweigh any loss I might incur as a result: I'm mindful of a particular spending habit, I'm reducing waste, and the dollars I save can go toward something else {a trip? another writing conference? helping finance a philanthropic or missions project?}. When offered to the almighty God who took a few loaves and fishes to feed a multitude, who knows what He might be able to do with a few hundred dollars?

I guess we'll see!

On a side note, the name of my blog will not be changing. French press & rainy days just doesn't have the same ring to it! :o)

latte photo by kirsten.michelle

the plans of mice & birthday girls

Thanks to all who took the time to send me notes and e-cards yesterday on my birthday; they were much appreciated! Because I've been spending all my time at home alone this week, e-mails, blog comments, and phone calls are the bulk of the human contact I've had.

I didn't have any grand plans for my actual birthday since it fell on a weekday and had I been at work, I would have been working overtime anyway. But I definitely did not intend on being sick.

If you had not heard, I came down with the flu on Saturday and have been home ever since. It started out as a tickle in my throat and quickly escalated into alternating fever and chills, fatigue, an aching body, a splitting headache, sinus congestion, coughing, and nausea every time I dared to remove myself from the couch. Sunday and Monday were by far the worst days. By Tuesday I was feeling a little more human, but knew I should probably take Wednesday also. Since I would have missed three consecutive days of work, I called the doctor's office first thing Wednesday morning to get an appointment to obtain the requisite note required to come back to work. My trip to the doctor Wednesday afternoon was the first time I had left my house since Saturday.

I've been anticipating this birthday for some time; I'm excited to be thirty! Over a month ago, I designed a t-shirt for this day so I could advertise the fact it was my birthday: I'd wear it to work, and out to dinner later making sure everyone who walked by me knew. And why not? Even though I was only going to the doctor, I saw no reason not to wear it. So I put it on over a long-sleeved white t-shirt, put on my favorite pair of jeans, and headed out the door.

the birthday t-shirt, designed with the help of cafepress.com

I sat in the patient room for a few minutes before Erica (my doctor) came in. I was on the brink of tears; my good mood diminished when the nurse took my temperature just minutes earlier: at 101 degrees, I was still running a fever. I have no thermometer at home, but I knew this had gone down considerably from what it was on Sunday and Monday, and I wondered what kind of fever I had been running those two days.

waiting in the patient room

so happy about that 101 fever, really. can you tell?

She came in and examined me and noticed a fever rash all over my back, neck, and stomach that had completely escaped my notice. She said that she'd give me a note for the whole week and that I shouldn't go back to work until Monday. Perhaps many would be fine with a full week off, but I was already unhappy about the prospect of seeing all my hard-earned personal/vacation time dwindling because I work in a cubicle farm/petri dish where people think they're heroes for coming to work when they don't feel well. I have a lot of time saved up and glad I have it for situations such as these, but to see 40 hours gone so I could sit at home alone on the couch under a blanket exhausting my DVD collection and feeling sick? Ugh.

I went straight home and called my manager on the way to let him know. Since I have the best kind of manager you could ask for, I was not concerned in the least about letting him know that the doctor required me to stay home and rest for the remainder of the week. He said to take care of myself, that I was missed, and that half of our leadership team was out sick with the flu also.

When I arrived home, I fixed a small lunch of fried tempeh and green vegetables. When my sister called to ask if our dinner & movie plans for the night with Mom were still on, I lost it. I felt like my birthday was shot because I had gotten kicked hard in the rear with this infernal flu bug. While I was thankful I could stay home and rest, spending another day alone and on the couch, drinking fluids and spacing out in front of the TV was not how I wanted to spend my birthday. I couldn't even go enjoy a dinner and a movie, for crying out loud! I was so angry. I knew there wasn't a thing that could be done about it (the flu offers no special treatment for those with birthdays, apparently), but I was suddenly feeling miserable about the whole thing. I went back to my sickbay [aka: the couch], meanly flattened my food with the fork, and ate it begrudgingly between sobs. I don't say this kind of thing often, but for how the day had gone so far, I could not gloss it over: this totally sucked.

my sickbay

my lunch before i attacked it

Kaari came home about an hour later and told me to close my eyes. I heard her walk over to me and felt her place something on my head. I went and looked in the mirror to find a pink feathered tiara had been put on my head, a perfect complement to the "birthday girl." t-shirt I still wore. She had picked up a movie, and my Mom would be coming shortly with some soup.

And then my phone rang; it was Christin, my roommate from college calling to wish me a happy birthday. It was so great to hear her voice and tell her about my sad day, but how it was getting better already. My Mom came through the door while I was on the phone and brought red tulips (my favorite) with her and a cute get well card: Even germs find you irresistible, it says. I had to laugh.

Kaari proceeded to act as photographer, taking pictures of me as I was only too happy to pose (I've always been a bit of a ham for the camera). We ate our split pea soup, watched a movie, and laughed together. A few more friends called and wished me a happy birthday. After Mom went home, I shook vodka-crans for me, my sister, and our roommate Michelle.

I certainly would not have planned to spend my birthday this way, but am happy with the way it turned out. I'm glad I have this week to rest and sleep in and feel and think and give my body a break after seven months of going a hundred miles an hour. When I celebrate with friends for a birthday dinner in Seattle this coming weekend, I will be able to be fully present and engaged, soaking in every moment of that night. When I go to Florida, I will already be rested and able to fully enjoy the time that I'll have there, the time that already feels too short.

e-mailing Christianne!

There have been so many surprises and blessings in this week, some of which I'll expand upon in future posts, and some of which I'll ponder in my own heart for a time. God has been speaking, and I've been still and listening. I'm so excited to see what He has for me this year. I feel as though I'm standing at the edge of a precipice, His hand covering my eyes, with the landscape of His plan in front of me. I can't wait until He lifts the hand, or at least allows me a peek through His fingers.

learning self-care

There are many things these days that have prompted me to take some personal inventory. Having taken some time to do this, it stikes me that sometimes the simplest lessons are the hardest to learn.

I've had much on my plate these days: increasing demands on my time with work over the last several months (50-60 hour weeks have become the norm temporarily), some mind-bending life transitions, relational ups & downs, and facing a milestone birthday. On top of all this, I've been thriving creatively and have been struggling to give adequate time to pursue those things that inspire and quicken my heart.

All these things are causing me to pause and take stock: to assess where my life is at in relation to where I want it to be and to examine how my day to day activities and behaviors reflect what I truly value (the planner can be quite telling!). I can hardly be objective where I am concerned, but if I were an onlooker into my own life, I'd probably tell myself this:

• Work less hours and don't be afraid to take time for yourself.
• Say "no" when you don't want to commit to something and don't feel guilty or apologetic for it. People might think you are selfish, irresponsible, flaky, or rude. They will always have their own ideas of what you should be doing. But they're not taking care of you: you are, and you are in the best position to know what is good for you and what you need.
• Spend more time with the people you like and don't get miffed when they tell you you're working too much and that they're disappointed they don't get to see you as much as they'd like.
• No one else has all the answers; don't expect that you are an exception to this.
• Be kind and gracious to yourself; you cannot give others what you are not willing to receive for yourself.
• Take care of your heart and don't try to ignore or talk it out if what it needs. A wise man once said it is the wellspring of life, and you would do well to tend to it, feed it, defend it, and fight for it when necessary.
• Not every good thing demands your "yes". Learn to know what you can handle, and expect that in order to safeguard your heart and your wellness, you will sometimes have to say "no" to some good & worthwhile things.
• Be willing to stumble a little (or a lot) and to step into the unknown. No one who realizes their dreams does so without risk.
• Exercise patience with yourself: it does no good to get stuck browbeating yourself for perceived failures and shortfalls. Acknowledge them honestly and accept the lessons they offer as a gift. Let them inspire forward movement.
• Approach God with open hands, always. Allow Him to take away or give as He will, always trusting His goodness in whatever He does. NOTE: this will (no doubt) mean tears and heartache. Take this as gift also, it means you are alive and living fully.
• Enjoy life!! Soak in the beauty around you, laugh, and take the opportunity to indulge in simple pleasures.

A year or two ago, many of these things would have sounded selfish or like sentimental fluff to me. I am someone who loves to give and have been in the habit of extending myself without taking care to ensure that I was staying filled, healthy, and whole. It's a great recipe for burnout! I've heard it so often (and have probably advised others) that you must be responsible for caring for yourself before you can extend it to others. My personal beliefs are finally moving in this direction, letting go of those cement bags of guilt that have been hindering me from fully embodying this value. How I spend my time is now a better reflection of those things in which I place value.

I envision a ripple effect in my relationships. After all, I cannot approach God or any human relationship with integrity if I sabotage my end of the relationship by coming in ignorance of myself or by refusing to let go of self-defeating behaviors. By placing a higher value on self-care, I will be a better friend, daughter, and child of God. More fully invested in myself, I will truly be able to live life to its fullest.

happiest girl in the world

And why am I the happiest girl in the world?

Because I will be visiting the lovely Christianne in Florida! She and Kirk have graciously indulged me by allowing me to come for a 5-day visit at the end of January.

It's something I've dreamed on intermittently since we've reconnected through our blogs, but only this morning it became a reality. As thankful I am to have this quick and easy mode of communication, it will be nice to hug her, laugh with her, sip lattes, talk until our tongues and mouths are tired, and sit across from her at the same table over sushi, rice noodles, or empty plates. It won't really matter what else is there, because I will be with my friend.

I'm in utter wonder at how our hearts have connected over bloglines in the course of the last year, but most especially in recent months. She is a friend who speaks truth and love to my heart, who always has an encouraging word for me. I cannot begin to express how much her support has meant to me and how much her own story inspires me. And now I get to see her!!!

You should have heard me giggle and squeal when the last click was made and the ticket was purchased.

I am so insanely, ridiculously, and over-the-moon thrilled, my dear girl, to come and see you!! Let the countdown begin ...

stellar autumn day

instead of typing, my fingers have been busy snapping photos.

we had a beautiful autumn day here yesterday; it seemed about half the city turned up at my favorite local waterfront park to take it all in. [hard to believe this, as things were so very different a year ago at this time ...]

taking the opportunity: i stopped, i looked, i listened

raucous laughter on the playground

park bench affections

leaves crowding around my ankles,

crunching underfoot

fiery displays of red, yellow, orange

sun piercing through the chill

clean sharp salty air

wide open space in which to breathe deeply

thank you, LORD for bathing me in this goodness
these moments of light.

A Sunny Afternoon ...

... is good for chilling on the back porch

So why would you care

To get out of this place

You and me and all our friends

Such a happy human race

Eat, drink and be merry

For tomorrow we die

Dave Matthews Band

Tripping Billies

back porch photo by kirsten

08.29.2007