Where I Belong

I'm home now. In (gulp) Florida. And it's so unfamiliar.

One of the canals of the Winter Park scenic boat tour

The word home evokes a variety of emotional responses responses for me. I think of warmth and familiarity, a place where I am accepted and known. But I don't feel any of these things here. At least not yet. There are two or three people in the whole state who really know me, and only a few of the streets I've driven are acquiring even the faintest sense of the familiar for me.

I suppose it helps that I didn't expect to feel warm and familiar from the moment I set foot here. I expected I would be tired and frustrated, adjusting not only to a new locale, but also to a new reality: up until a couple of weeks ago, I had always been either a full-time student or full-time employee. And now (gulp), I'm neither. Our insurance agent used the word "homemaker" to describe my occupation. Well ... if you insist. The place and the title are so foreign and unfamiliar.

But I do belong here, nonetheless. It isn't a feeling, but rather a fact of this new life. James is here, his job is here. We are going to have a baby here (and more after this one, Lord willing) and are committed to building a life here.

Washington State will always be where I'm from, and if I think of home, I am naturally going to think of that place first.

But this place? This is home now. And it may not feel like it, but this is where I belong.

retrospective {2008}

me & elyse (roomie) on new year's eve

Before we get too far into 2009, I thought I'd take a peek over my shoulder to remember what 2008 held for me. Take a walk with me ...

January 2008
This is the month I turned 30 ... at home. By myself. With the flu and a 104 fever. Once recovered, I was able to enjoy a great [gluten-free] birthday dinner with friends.
Not only did I get to visit Christianne, but we learned that we would get to share forty minutes in the StoryCorps booth interviewing one another. Oh, and the whole getting to Florida part? That was pretty funny, too.

February 2008
I went with friends to see Chris Botti live at Jazz Alley in Seattle. It was amazingly beautiful.
I decided to go to the Christian writer's conference at Mount Hermon, reserving my spot just two weeks prior. It was a leap of faith, and I trust it was not in vain.
There was this day where my heart crept up on me (and who but my favorite Christianne-girl should offer me this sweet gem?)
I posted this piece: a confession about how I've treated my body over the years and to which I received responses that made me weep.

March 2008
I continued down a path of remembering, exploring places I hadn't visited in a long time so I could spend time tending to the fears and hurts of a very confused and heartbroken 13-year-old me. It's a path I continue to visit from time to time.
I tried new writing exercises and shared a descriptive piece about waking up.

April 2008
I made a commitment to cut back on my latte habit in favor of French press coffee so I could steward my funds more responsibly (but now I may have a slight French-press addiction).
I shared photos from a solo photo session that I had simply to celebrate me and the life I'm living.

May 2008
Kaari and I bought tickets to Ireland. We will be on our way in just 5 weeks!!
I shared continued and mounting struggles with my health, including my frustration with a malfunctioning thyroid and all the symptoms that came with it.

June 2008
I learned that the loveliest of lovelies (Christianne, Sarah, and Christin) would be coming to visit me in August!!
In a three part series, I shared in depth about the profound implications that my chronic health issues had on me physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. I talked about the darkness, and then about emerging from it.

July 2008
I continued in the vein of sharing how my health issues were affecting me. I was increasingly frustrated and losing both patience and hope.

August 2008
And more about the health issues (are you sensing a theme?). More frustration, more tears, more just plain ol' sick & tired of it.
And the girls came to visit. It was so incredibly beautiful.

September 2008
Having tried a variety of treatments that all ended up failing, I took some proactive steps in my quest for better health and I felt loved and held in that space.
Sarah shared with me that she had a dream about how God was catching every single tear I shed. And then I shed some more.
I learned that I was faced with a tough and unexpected decision about whether or not I would move for my job.

October 2008
My friend Peggy and I had some fun at the pumpkin patch!!
I remembered those things I would miss about living in Bellingham.

November 2008
I moved.
I unpacked.
I lived in a sea of cardboard.
And I worked, and I worked, and I worked.

December 2008
I worked, and I worked, and I worked some more.
I unpacked some more and said goodbye to what I was sure was an endless pile of cardboard and packing material. Good riddance!!
I set out to explore the new environs.
I played in the snow (as there was plenty of it).


I'm very excited to see what 2009 holds!! Though just 2 days into the new year, it is already proving to be a year full of promise. Things I have waited for and hoped for and prayed with tears for appear to be within reach, ripe with the possibility of fulfillment that exceeds my wildest hopes. It was as though 2008 was a year of letting go and maybe, just maybe ... 2009 will be about being able to receive new and better things.

Stay tuned as the journey unfolds ...

photo by kirsten.michelle

coming up for air

Apparently, it takes a snow day for me to be able to write a blog post!! Like many areas of the country, we're experiencing some severe winter weather. We got 8 inches of snow yesterday and for today that means that I'm still in my pajamas, have played several solo rounds of PathWords of Facebook (so addicting!!), washed the dishes, and also did some laundry. There are thick sheets of ice where a driveway and a road used to be, and we are in no hurry to test the limits of my roommate's all-wheel-drive vehicle.

Transition time at work is starting to draw to a close and I am so thankful for that! Since I arrived here a month ago, I've not had a work day that was shorter than eleven hours. As for me and my house, we've been doing our best to break down cardboard, get settled in and set up, as well as navigate our way around this new place, discovering where we can find some good sushi or the best pho in town.

And speaking of new places, I have to say that I'm really digging this one. It's been amazing to see how those things I was concerned about leaving behind have also been provided for in this new place. From a mountain view to a good chiropractor, the Lord has provided for every thing I knew I was going to miss.

Last weekend, we took a walk around our new town and were utterly taken in by its charm. I hope you will be, too!

photos by kirsten.michelle

remember me??

Hi friends! I am still here.

I decided to come up for a bit of air and let everyone know that I did not get lost in a cardboard maze, nor am I wandering and confused in a tangle of freeways. In fact, thanks to the help of my rather amazing family, the boxes have been tamed (photographic evidence to the right).

Anna and I are mostly settled and working long days as the transition in our department that inspired this move draws near to its culmination. We both love our new environs and starting to feel more at home in this place. The next to weeks promise to offer more of the same long days and busy-ness as I fulfill my role in preparing our team for this transition process.

If I don't get a chance to tell you, please accept my wishes for a safe, warm, and happy Christmas. And I promise I'll be back soon!!

unpacking & exploring

I'm thinking of opening a cardboard maze in my new condo. It's like a corn maze, only not as fun.

Special: Free boxes and packing paper to the first 50 guests!!

I think my books may have multiplied in transit. I still had a few boxes of books left to open when this was taken.

In other exciting news, we've managed to find our nearest Trader Joe's, Starbucks, Target, PCC Natural Market, and a few really good takeout places (Chipotle is at the top of our list just now). I've signed up at my local Gold's Gym and we also bought a new trash bin today. We're still on the hunt for a good sushi place, but found some yummy pho yesterday.

Can you handle the excitement?!

We went on a coffee run to Tully's on our first morning here ... this was our view on the way. I think I'm gonna like it here ...

photos by kirsten.michelle